Caramel Baloney

Re: more on male obligations

caramelbaloney:

chickenbonewatt:

I agree for the most part, and love that you voice issues so often and well, but I have to say if a guy sticks it in, he has to be prepared that she may be pregnant and abort, and be pregnant and have it, which also means he needs to be ready to pay for it. The child isn’t off the hook because the father wants to do a dip, spit and run, and if the male didn’t want the risk, he shouldn’t have dipped. The only possible ‘signing off’ on the male’s part I can conceive (and still not agree with) is if it is signed off before the act of sex (and we all know signing consent forms is more mood kill than putting on condoms and would not be dealt with using clear and rational minds).

This sounds exactly like saying that if a woman doesn’t want the risk of having a child, she shouldn’t have sex. Why should it be different for men?

Yes, it is. I just don’t agree that taking that risk is in any way bad, and I agree that the woman has final say on her body (although, a little discussion between is ALWAYS encouraged). Either party doing the deed needs to be aware of the potential consequences, and ignorance or lack of caring is no excuse (nor is what you ‘want’, because the fact is that sex carries the potential for pregnancy). Whether the woman carries to term or aborts, she will have effects and consequences that may alter her entire life and health. The woman will have to pay for either outcome, so why should the man not?? The issue of ‘I don’t want it, abort it or support it yourself’ is just as ridiculous as ‘that’s my baby in there and you CAN’T abort’……….both are ways of telling a woman what to do with her body, and both are ways that the man tries to absolve himself of guilt and responsibility. Whether aborting or birthing, a woman has to face the gulit/responsibility/consequences/whatever, so she HAS taken on the potential for pregnancy every time she has sex, and there isn’t any signing off that she can do, so why can the man?? Allowing him to sign away responsibility (I guess, unless that’s what she wants too-for him to sign away all rights. If they both are in agreement, I’d say that’s a different case altogether) is the perfect example of allowing it to be different for men.

I fully agree that a woman has final say in what she does with her body. However, we can say that both parties should be aware of the consequences before having sex, but we know that’s frequently not what happens. People are going to fuck, and very few are really ready to be responsible for a child. I fully disagree that abortion carries long lasting effects for many women. It’s certainly not a joyful experience, but many women feel relief afterwards. This isn’t the same level of consequence as having to pay for years of child support while trying to start a life of your own. Also, not wanting to raise a baby isn’t telling a woman what to do with her body. If she wants it and he doesn’t, then she’s making a personal decision for herself and should be able to back it up herself. I agree it’s unfair that the woman will have to make the choice either way, whereas the man could get away without any responsibility if there were no imposed obligations. But I can’t agree that forcing parental obligations on men, when we abhor that idea for ourselves, is the way to even out these imbalanced choices.

Source: fuckyeahmenfolk